Opal Dreams_

And when the Sun was born, you looked deep into her eyes...
She blushed and spilt the redness over her face like blood;
With a caress as soft as a rose's kiss, she locked her desires in the dark cells of her thoughts and left the room, taking all the colour and life with her.

You sat there, almost lifeless.The sweat forming on your brow was now trickling down your cheek. How you wished it was blood,for she deserved nothing lesser. You got up,
you smiled at the sun peeping into your window.

How lovely had it been, only five days ago when Adora was with you, you thought.
And then you remembered you were a part of this fairy tale...But there is always
'a happily ever after' there... Why different with you?
But then you realized Men wrote them, not God.


I wish of the poison with burning love,
Coz I see no ruth in the Almighty ,above.

Colourblind, you make me Adora; I await in real pain;
Is this real love or just unreal magic,
which folds over me like a mother's grip,

Why do I blind in the sharpness of thy thought?
Why do I cry with mirth at the childish lovely laugh?
There's this magic inside the purity you carry, Adora, which entwines my heart to thine, which makes me fall at my knees and say I love you, all over again...


You wrote this to Adora just before you died in that cell.



(An excerpt of a past Life experience being told by a spectator to the involved young Man, Max and his current life wife Adora, who had recently died of accident.The experiences resolved that they had been together for the past four lives and none of them ended with them being together.)

We all have a part of us which guards some lies. White lies, insignificant lies,
life-changing lies, Benevolent lies et al. There are times I want to purge them out and feel catharsis.
But then I realize everybody does that. Everybody does a little bit of ‘doing it up’ and ‘making the facts
squeaky clean’ When in fact there is more to it. It really does ring true when all you’re watching around
you is clean manipulations passed off as ability par excellence without a blink.

Yes. A Blink. That’s all the others can do when they’re a part of neither the victims nor the assaulters.

With an overloaded conscience like mine, all you can ever do is try and find ways to feel bad about
Whatever good you’ve done. Skip the unintentional bad things, by then certified sins. It’s almost like
a disorder, something like an OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) to punish yourself. To review it
like an unending tape, running over and over, like scratching a cut on your hand, almost Chinese torture
to the power of ten and what not. Not that I can help it. Sigh.

I resigned from my workplace two days ago. It was well past it’s time and I know I’d invite some knowing
looks here. A lot of things changed during these months of working in a Call Center. More than I’d had
the foresight, then, to imagine.

Some things changed irrevocably. Some people did. Some relationships did. Some emotions did.
I did not realize most of it even when transpiring, not even after it happened. Call it numbness or
Plain idiocy or a very cruel Plan by fate.

I killed something inside Me. Something that defined me in an age, was now dead. A lot of
‘somethings’ and a very few words. It’s like what a French dictionary is to a Philipino.
Not to be categorized as an Emo-blogger or anything, it’s just an attempt to accept losing in some ways
more easily than others. There is no harm in accepting your misjudgments and old mistakes’ are only as
much as their life’s worth. I don’t win by forcing over the past but I win when the past leads me
happily to the present, the future.

For some people, even happiness is like a stolen guilty pleasure. It’s more than their life’s worth to not
Feel undeserving for any act of kindness on them.



Rapunzel.